Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
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