You work out of a Hotel?
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
