Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Randomize