I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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