your thong is hanging out like whoa
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
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