Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
