This is not my ceiling
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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