He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
