I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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