My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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