I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
