Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
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