Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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