The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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