There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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