Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
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