Will you blow on my dice?
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
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