Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize