Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
