OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Randomize
