Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
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