Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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