I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Randomize
