Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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