Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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