we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
