i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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