smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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