That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
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