I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
