Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
