My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
