You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Randomize
