WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
