White coat. Heels.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize