first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Randomize
