I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
i believe in u and ur pee
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
You are a genius and a whore.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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