He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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