Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
is that a dick in a sweater?
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
