yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
