Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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