you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
