We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
