I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
