If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
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