Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
