I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize