Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
I FOUND THE LEGS
Randomize
