I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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