There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
