OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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