Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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