were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
