I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
Randomize