yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
As he walked by me and gave me his dreamy smile full of dimples all i could think was 'I gave you chlamydia'.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
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