you're like a bully in the Christmas story
are you so shy because you have an std?
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
