But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
My bed smells like the plague
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