My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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