I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
accomplished twins. life is a go
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
