hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Moan for me like Helen Keller
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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