Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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