I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
