dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
