the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Randomize
