i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Randomize
